Friday, October 31, 2008

Aaron Michael Murphy is finally "here"!

Aaron Michael Murphy was born earlier today. He weighs 5 lbs 5 oz and we didn't get his length. Isn't he just PRECIOUS?!

Congratulations Jennie and Micah! He's beautiful!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

God help the outcast

I think of the words from a Disney movie (I know, I know) as I wipe away the tears from the viewing of this video: God help the outcasts / Hungry from birth / Show them the mercy / They don't find on earth.

Lord, have mercy on your people.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Message From The Queen to the United States of America

The following was picked up from a clergy friend of mine from Australia. (Thanks, Cappie!)

Cappie says: "This email is doing the rounds in Australia :)"

Message From The Queen

In the light of your recent economic mess and failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves effectively, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:


1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').


2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English.. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'


3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.


4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse..


5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.


6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.


7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.


8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.


9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.


10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a coagulated milk grater.


11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies)..


12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries.


13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.


14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).


15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

Thanks again, Cappie, for the laugh!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Americans are lazy... the whole world may be to some degree.

Checking Google reader just moments ago, I read the following:
Tips and tricks

You can hit the space key to page down and/or move to the next item. This way you can move through your reading list by using only a single finger.
I find it somewhat humorous that Google took hours of programming time and money to design a usable interface requiring only a single finger to scroll through blog posts... and even more hilarious that they took more time to let us know it was possible.

Thank you, Google Reader, for supporting - maybe even encouraging - obesity in America. Your parents should be proud.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Quick Note

Just a quick note, a bit of an update.

In the years that I've been blogging, I've always been on-again, off-again. It takes a lot to blog well. You have to be dedicated, consistent and thorough. While I'd like to say it's the quality of what you post and not the quantity, that's simply not the truth. If you blog occasionally and have profound, interesting, or thought-provoking things to say, you may or may not generate a readership. If you do it will likely be small. If you go extended periods without posting, it is likely that group will start to dwindle. People will come and go, replacing each other sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. If you blog often but have nothing of any real consequence to say, it is likely you will gain a larger readership, though maybe not a loyal one. They may come and go but the chances of an extended length visitor increase simply because you have more content. If you post often AND your material is good (even here and there), like Happy Catholic, you are likely to gain a steady and large readership.

I fall into the "I never post and usually say nothing of any interest to anyone outside my home" category. And so I have never had a large readership. And that's alright.

This is me saying that if you stumble upon this blog, laugh, cry, or think a little, don't expect it to ever happen again. Expectations kill, especially with me and this blog!

That being said, I will now go on.

This weekend I went on a parish retreat, Christ Renews His Parish. It was beyond amazing. I truly had a spiritual experience. I'm sure you're thinking, "well DUH laura. you were on a CHURCH RETREAT." Those who know me know that I have been on many, many retreats. I've been to good ones, mediocre ones, and downright awful ones. I've even seen the Pope at World Youth Day. I'm not one to promote this kind of stuff, especially someplace like this, but seriously y'all, this retreat was awesome.

In fact, the intensity of what I got from the retreat cannot be adequately described or communicated in human words or expressions. It's one of those dance-because-you-feel-like-bustin, sing-because-you-cant-just-talk, cry-because-you-need-to-release-some-emotion feelings.

I am overwhelmed with joy and peace. And as my new favorite song so perfectly says, "it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace." Yes, it feels like chaos - in my heart, my mind, my body (maybe that's a lack of sleep... hmmm...) - but somehow, there's PEACE.

A big, warm, heartfelt thank you to the women of CRHP Team 13. You are forever my earthly angels!