Monday, October 22, 2007

My Struggle with the Rosary

My last post was about my struggle with the rosary and there was a great response in both written and verbal comments and emails with tips and suggestions about how to pray the rosary (or other prayers to pray instead). I can't tell you how blessed I felt to know of the great number of people who cared to help me in this spiritual journey. I kindly thank each of you who offered your advice or lent your support. Unfortunately (I suppose it's really bittersweet), I feel in the depths of my heart that I am supposed to be praying the rosary -- no matter how difficult or burdensome it can be for me.

I have learned a lot and grown a lot in the last few weeks. I have not yet said an entire rosary without great difficulty but what good ever came of easy tasks? I know my Lord in a new intimate way because of this. My struggle has helped me to trust more, surrender more. I can't count on my fingers and toes the number of times I have had to turn to the Lord to help me finish my prayer. But in doing so, I have learned of the great love our Lord has for me and for my efforts, however pitiful.

Perhaps I will share more about this journey later... for now, this is all. Thanks again to all who have offered their words of support, advice, and encouragement. Thanks also to those who have prayed for or with me. May the Lord bless your kindness and generosity.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Praying the Rosary

When the bookclub decided to read the Holy Father's writing on the rosary, I grumbled. I didn't want to read it. The rosary isn't my thing and I'm not sure I really want it to be my thing. I've struggled with it for so long that I'm really not interested any more. But I picked up the writing anyway and read a little. And then a little more. Then I put it down. (I know my limits.)

Tonight, I went to visit my parents and siblings. My mother was watching Father Corapi on EWTN and I blabbed away for a good while before I even stopped to notice that he was promoting the rosary... actually discussing the Holy Father's work. (The last piece I had caught was something about human sexuality and I tuned out...) When I heard him talking about Mary, I shut up real fast. I love Mary. I love her 'yes'. I love the story of the Angel Gabriel coming to her and the exchange that took place. I love the "Hail Mary". I just don't do the rosary...

... but now I'm beginning to think I might need to like the rosary. I'm beginning to think someone "up there" might be elbowing me in the side...