Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Please accept my apology...

Did you ever fight with someone and regret it later? You want to apologize but not sure it would do any good. You want to say what you feel but are scared they'll take it as 'saying what they want to hear'. Even when your intentions are good, you're nervous that they'll be misconstrued. So do you apologize or do you not? I guess a good lesson in humility is to go ahead and do it. If you were in the wrong, you should apologize - no matter what. So you apologize and you hope for the best. If they take it the way you predict, you want to get mad. You want to be angry that they are questioning your intentions. Whether your history gives reason for it or not, you don't like having your sincere apology questioned for honesty. Again, a lesson in humility. Instead of getting mad you have to be calm and understand why, especially after several similar occasions, these apologies might seem rehearsed. You have to suck up your pride and remember that you apologized for a reason. And then, as your pride is beaten out of you with every glance (because you think that every time anyone looks at you they look at you with shame), you have to keep going and keep trying. You have to, in every word and action, let them know that you are sincere - not for you though. For them. It's a hard battle. Pride is hard to beat down. But with lots of prayer and confession and Mass, it can be overcome. +Lord, teach me humility.


Blogger Sarah said...

It's not often that I fight with someone and DON'T regret it, Laura, and I totally sympathize with you on this whole quandary "to apologize or not to apologize". In my own small experiences, the answer is usually "to apologize." Sometimes **I** need the practice of the apology, the reminder of my need for humility, more than the person needs to hear it. And then I wonder, looking back, whether I have no idea at all about what said other person needs at all. But you must also understand, in my head, the battle almost always involves physical violence of the level of popping someone's head off of their shoulders (which makes a great cartoon in my head, but has zero charity and lots of resentment). I hope you didn't have too big a battle if you chose to apologize, and that you are not feeling too much guilt if you opted not. :)

7/17/2006 07:37:00 PM  
Blogger Laura H. said...

You and I struggle then, it would seem, with the similar issues. I opted to apologize and although the apology was in writing and delivered via the net (and never discussed afterward), it has proven worthy of the time spent agonizing on whether to send it or not.

Thanks for the comment.

7/17/2006 09:24:00 PM  

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