Monday, May 22, 2006

Have faith. You won't regret it.

Originally intended for posting on Thursday, May 18, 2006 at 11:21 pm.

A serious topic on a web phorum had this response which made me think...
This despair that you're feeling must be quite intense indeed and you're probably being pulled in so many directions that its hard to feel as though you're not going to be torn to ribbons. But the opposite is true Cathurian, the opposite is true. Even though the road ahead seems so shrouded in darkness that even if you could make the first step without feeling as though a thousand hands are holding you back--and they probably are--it seems far too scary to start along the path. You're afraid that you're going to be swallowed up by that thick cloud of unknowing aren't you? You fear that if you submit and throw yourself forward that whats waiting on the other side of the mist because its so foreign, so uncharted that you cannot help but fearing. Your right this religion of ours is tough and by human standards its impossible but as St Athanasius reminds us "God became man that man might be made God", by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit even the utterly unimaginable is no longer beyond our limits. Simply by exercising human virtues there is no way we can stand upon the precipice of faith, hope and love but if we make the first step Divine Grace will do the rest. But you've got to make that first step no matter how hard it seems.

I know you dont really want to quit, if you did you wouldn't be talking about it, you'd just walk away. So follow your heart: don't let it be troubled and do not be afraid. God will not allow you to fall from His arms if you jump into them with absolute dependence and humility. If you feel yourself falling short now its because you're not putting your all into the jump and I think deep down you know that too. You've got to face up to whats holding you back, you've got to look it in the eye, scream, shout, wait and bellow, cry blue murder and just take a leap of faith. All that raw emotion must be channelled into that one single solitary second where you make the choice for Jesus and start off down the path laid out before you. More than likely you wont get much further than you've currently got but thats ok cos if you stretch out your hands and say 'Jesus I trust you' you will know the Divine Mercy. God has only allowed you to fail so that you would know that no matter how many times you do He would be there for you, looking for you, hungry for your love. He still is and He always will be. No matter how many times you show Him your back He'll always reach out for you encase you change your mind. Renounce your pride and open your heart to this reality, to reality of the wholly transcendent God who humbles Himself on your account to make light of the infinite debts incurred by our sins so as to hold you close to Him and make a home for Himself within your heart.

Let go. Surrender doesn't always have to be demeaning. Amongst men disordered as we are by the concupisence we've inherited from our first parents it usually equates to little more than enslavement but with God the Son of Man its not so. For with Christ the first becomes the last and the last first. You dont need to hold onto your dignity to protect it rather self-realisation, self-actualisation comes in self-giving and the outpouring of interpersonal love between persons. In this case, the person of Christ in whom we encounter YHWH signofcross.gif and your own person. Frightening as it might be brush aside your doubts and go for it, you've nothing to loose and everything to gain. Dont think, just do, all your doubts, all that fear, allow a burst of sudden feeling to overwhelm them and use that as the fuel for your fire to just break free from yourself and into the Light of Christ. The minute you start mulling it over you're going to start wondering whether or not God is going to let you down, the second you start pondering your position in your mind you're going to start weighing up whether or not you're just setting yourself up to get smacked back down. So dont. Find that split second of absolute mindlessness and place your heart entirely upon the Cross.

Have faith, you wont regret it.
The last night strikes me. Have faith. You won't regret it. If we allow it, the love of Christ will so consume us that we will never be the same - but we have to have faith in His mercy and love. Too many times I have held back. I extend my heart to Him with firm grip and God, though all-powerful, was not going to play with me like that. Either I was going to submit myself to Him, His perfect will, and His love, or I wasn't. A lot of times, I wasn't. If I could just have faith, I would not regret what God would give to me. Is it scary? Yes. The capacity of the love that God has for His children is beyond measure and unable to comprehend that, it becomes something scary for us as humans. Is it worth it to trust in His goodness? Yes. I know of nothing more worthy of our trust.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.


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