Tuesday, May 09, 2006

If I believe, why am I crying?

Ever catch yourself crying or upset over something you know will work out in time? If you know God has His hand in things and will do with it as He knows fit, why do you then fuss over it? Why must you be overwhelmed with guilt and grief? Sometimes I want to blame it on my youth. Other times I blame it on immuaturity. Perhaps it is stubbornness or pride. Whatever it is, I wish to believe in God's mercy. We all have to trust in Him and trust openly. I believe that whatever should come of this will come of this. Now it's time for my emotional side to catch up. It's been a long evening.

+Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!

5 Comments:

Blogger Julie D. said...

Sometimes it is just the release after a difficult meeting also! :-)

5/10/2006 12:28:00 PM  
Blogger Laura H. said...

You are good to me. Your comfort was what I needed and both of you were there. I tried so hard to hold it back. I failed. Ah well...

5/10/2006 12:42:00 PM  
Blogger Julie D. said...

Hey, it's a girlie thing to cry. Very natural. Also, it was my "mom" side coming out ... I just couldn't help it. :-D

5/11/2006 12:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Tony said...

That's right. We manly men don't cry. We get quiet and pout.

5/11/2006 01:19:00 PM  
Anonymous bender said...

Ever catch yourself crying or upset over something you know will work out in time?

Many mental or emotional "conditions" such as these are irrational, in that the person knows that there is no real good reason to be upset, anxious, depressed, etc., and yet he or she is still unable to prevent it. Although sometimes the cause is intellecutal or spiritual, i.e. attitude or immaturity, etc., which we have the power to change by our will, sometimes the cause is part of that other aspect of our being, our bodies, i.e. biochemical, which is a lot harder to change and is something that, unlike intellectual or spiritual causes, has little to do with a lack of "trust in Him."

That is, in short, sometimes the worry or anxiety or upset a person feels is perfectly natural, from a bodily perspective, and thus involuntary. Part of the "trust in Him," then, is trusting that sometimes it is a natural, albeit unpleasant, event, and we should not necessarily blame ourselves for it or think that we are at fault or feel guilty about it. Sometimes, it is OK to just accept it as part of life. And if it gets really unpleasant or annoying, one can always "offer it up." (If it gets really, really, really unpleasant, then one might start thinking about medical intervention, but I'm not one to push drugs on everyone for every little upset.)

Here's a real life example for you -- the last few days I've been enduring some pretty significant anxiety preparing for a serious trial. Now, although triggered by that external event, it has a bio-chemical cause, such that it is absolutely impossible for me to simply tell my stomach to stop twisting in knots and tell my chest to stop feeling the pressure pushing in on it. It is not caused by any lack of belief in God's mercy or lack of trust in Him. It is simply a fact of bodily life, because we have different chemicals flowing through our brains, that sometimes we are subjected to anxiety and crying. Sometimes it has no external trigger; sometimes the brain just sends the wrong chemicals in at the wrong time.

Is crying and getting upset sometimes an indication of dispair in God's mercy? Yes, sometimes, but often times it is not. So, don't worry about worrying too much.

5/12/2006 12:32:00 AM  

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