Saturday, February 18, 2006

An Increase in Faith and Love

In the last couple of days I have been speaking a lot with a friend of mine whom I have not previously had an opportunity to get to know. We have been talking a lot about Lent and what we want from it this year and what it is we want to bring to God. I have felt lately that the Holy Spirit is using me as a vessel to speak to this friend of mine and it has been so incredibly humbling. I thank God for allowing me this opportunity to grow in love not only for my friend but in love for Him as well. Just moments ago I wrote a small note in response to one I had received. In reading through it a second time I realized that God might not only be speaking through me, but to me. Here is the note that I wrote to my friend (whom I will address as "Friend" in this post):

What a beautiful message! You are such an inspiration and a joy to have around (even if it is just online).

I wanted to share with you some thoughts I had while reading through your message...

Focus is a great thing to work on, though I do believe you already have this. I simply think your focus is in the wrong area. Like you said, you should focus more on what makes you happy instead of what you or someone else has led you to believe will make you happy or happier. Allow Christ to fill you up and to make you happy. Let HIM be your source of joy, for the joy that comes to you from Him is the purest of all joys. He alone can fill every hole or empty spot in your heart. Let Him make your heart whole. Let Him fill you with His love. Let others lift you up to Him even more.

I think before your focus was so much on what you wanted and needed that you might not have allowed yourself the proper time to THANK God for what He has already given you. You might have thanked Him but I think more you asked for things. True joy will come I believe with realizing how abundantly you have already been blessed.

I do not think that simply giving up phatmass will help. I do think, however, that allowing yourself space from phatmass while you readjust ALL of your priorities and your prespectives on things in your life will be very beneficial. Phatmass is a good place with lots of good people. You have to realize though that coming here for fellowship will be nothing if you don't have Christ as your first and most important friend.

I feel as if I am being accusatory but this is what I feel moved to say. Perhaps this quote says it better...

Don't tell Jesus that you want consolation in prayer. If he gives it to you, thank him. Tell him always that you want perseverance. -St. Josemaría Escrivá

Ask Jesus for perseverance not only in prayer but in trust that He can bring you the joy you so desire. Ask Him to grant you an increase in faith in Him and in His ability to console you even when you can't "feel" it. The companionship we seek in others is only a mere imitation of the relationship we have with Christ.

I am so delighted that your mood is changing and that perhaps the depression is leaving you. Knowing that you are more joyful and able to appreciate everything around you more is so beautiful to me. I am so humbled at the fact that the Holy Spirit is allowing me to be a vessel to help you at this time in your life. I pray that the Lord continues to shower you with His grace and mercy.

I was so thrilled to have your guardian angel with me last night. I really enjoyed the thought of him being there with me to guard me and protect me while I slept. I hope we have the chance to do that again sometime.

I thank God for our friendship and I pray that He will forever look with kindness upon it. May the Lord bless us and keep us always. God bless you, Friend! You are beautiful! As always, you have my prayers.

with love,

We may not currently be struggling with the same issues but the message is quite similar for both of us. Allowing Christ to truly fill us is the most important thing in growing in love not only for Him or for ourselves, but for others. That last small paragraph hit home for me especially and I have already begun to pass it along to each of my friends. ((Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have given me in my friendships.))

Lately I have been struggling with patience in Christ's plan for my life, aka: my vocation. I become easily discouraged in this area and I think He is finally giving me the kick in the butt that I so need. Instead of allowing Christ to fill me with His love and joy I have been seeking something elsewhere. If I can stop and allow my focus to be solely on Christ, then He will reward me with my companion for life. It will not be until I am able to set all things aside for Him, my True Groom, that I will be able to see clearly the man He has waiting for me.

Christ died on the cross for my sins. He shares Himself so very intimately in the Eucharist with me. Still I turn my back on His love and seek the companionship of sinners and fools. I pray I have not caused scandal with that statement but it is truly what I feel and believe. Companionship with His children is not a shameful thing in any form, however, allowing myself to put Christ after all of these which are not Him - this is truly shameful.

I pray that Christ grants me an increase in faith and in love for Him. I pray He helps me to allow Him into my heart. I want to allow Him to fill me up and make me whole. He alone is my joy. In Him alone will my weary soul find rest.

Lord, pray for us sinners that we may see and find in ourselves what we see and find in you. Help us to love you and to serve you first and to put ourselves last. Guide our hearts to you, Jesus, and lead us to your Father. Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make our hearts like unto thine! St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us! Amen!


Blogger Micah said...

"Still I turn my back on His love and seek the companionship of sinners and fools."

You prefer people like me! HAHA!

Jesus must come first. :) He is God, afterall. :D

2/18/2006 10:42:00 PM  
Blogger The Jesus Freak said...

Laura! that is soooo beautiful! I linked here from pm, lol.

God bless. :)

2/19/2006 02:27:00 AM  

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