Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Teatime with Freud

Let's just be honest... I'm addicted to phatmass. Who isn't though? The conversation is good, the laughs are unforgettable, and the people are even more outstanding than the two combined! In a thread which has reached a good five pages now, surprisingly not through bumps or jokes, I discussed Freudian theories with other youth. It is, in my humble opinion, one of the most interesting threads to hit open mic in a while. I had no clue it would turn out like it has but I am more than thrilled with its success. I am going to include snipits of the discussion and include a link at the end which can be followed to view the whole thread.

You know people always say that girls fall for guys that remind them (consciously or subconsciously) of their father. In the same respect the story goes that guys fall for girls who remind them (consciously or subconsciously) of their mother. I am curious to know if this has proven true with anyone here.

Some thoughts....
If I am a girl and I marry a man who is like my father, why then would my mother not like him? Would that mean that my father would not necessarily get along with him since we tend to like people who are different than ourselves? After all, we tend to hate most in others what is wrong in ourselves.

If I am a guy and I marry a woman who is like my mother, why then would my father not like her? Would that mean that my mother would not necessarily get along with her since we tend to like people who are different than ourselves? After all, we tend to hate most in others what is wrong in ourselves.

Is the respect and admiration that one feels for a certain type of person conclusive about the type of person they will marry? For instance, I have a strange admiration for Bruce Willis. There is something about his presence that commands my respect and it comforts me. I feel very warm and secure when I watch him. In the same respect I feel very secure and comfortable when I am around my choir director, Michael (whom you will notice I mention on a regular basis). That type of man soothes me and yet my father is nothing like those men. My father is so far from that type of man it's ridiculous. My father and Michael get along wonderfully because they compliment each other so well. Is it odd that I should feel more comforted by Michael's presence than my own fathers? Has anyone else had this experience?

Can we really say that people will fall in love with people who remind them of their source of life? Is it really fair to judge a situation like that? Another question: does this scenario only manifest itself in people who have had healthy relationships (to a degree) with their parents? Or does a strained relationship, in some circumstances, cause a man or woman to long more for a person to fill a certain void? Is the spouse a replacement in the sense that they are presenting on a daily basis an attitude or personality that comforts the individual? Is this unhealthy?

This seems like a very controversial (and confusing) statement. [hugheyforlife](me)

The discussion does venture off in a different direction for a little while but resumes again when Shortnun and I (aka: hugheyforlife) begin addressing the basics of Freudian teaching and feminism in today's society...

As graced of an existence that we humans lead, I find it difficult to used phrases like "return to the natural way of life" and "when natural roles are restored." Human beings exist in a constant state of change. It is too unclear to me as to what we would be "returning" to. Yes, A lack of appreciation and respect for each sex has become abandoned. Yes, I do believe that the historic push "for women to be the men" plays a part in that abandonment. But we are at an impasse here. The view you have so eloquently put forth is that of men and women as complementary sexes. My effort has been the opposite of your position... men and women as equal. I myself am trying to educate myself about the development and repercusions of both positions so as to better reach my own conclusions. I certainly don't have all the answers! Thankfully only God does. But I am conforted with conversations such as this that search for the Truth. [shortnun]

(my reply:)
I think that maybe we have not quite reached the imapasse you claim we have reached. I do respect that feeling and let me say that I too am comforted by such conversations. Instead of completely replying this time I am going to make an attempt at asking questions to first clarify that which I am not positive I understand. First, do you believe that there are predefined roles that men have based not only on what God has commanded them to do but also based on biological make-up which gives them the urges to do certain things (in this case I also believe to be in sync with God's plan)? Would you say the same for women? When you say "constant state of change", what do you mean? (I understand the phrase but I am not sure I understand it in the way that you mean. I too believe we are in a constant state of change but I believe we say that, again, with different meaning.) One last one.. Do you believe that men and women can be equal and complementary at the same time?

I hope that none of my questions has left me looking like a fool, and if they have I thank the Lord for showing me my pride (be it conscious or not). I am enjoying this conversation very much. [hugheyforlife]

I would very much like to share with the blogging world this conversation but as I said it has now reached a grand total of five pages. Perhaps, if one is interested they might follow this link: Teatime with Freud (the complete discussion)? Perhaps one (or two) will.


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